Sunday, January 13, 2013


So we all survived the end of the world, once again, and we're two weeks into 2013, enjoying life, quickly forgetting we made new year resolutions. Which I honestly don't blame a lot of people for forgetting, every year it's the same stuff, weight loss, financial stability, find love... I honestly hate the whole idea of new year resolutions, if you want change, just change, no matter what time of year it is!

Anyway with that being said I did make a resolution this year, to learn to better understand myself and my needs so that I can make a better life plan and welcome better people into my life. So far I'm on my second self-help book, I've started meditating nightly and I'm back to taking my vitamins (don't ask me how this makes me more mentally stable, but it helps me. Possibly the omega-3's doing some awesome brain work, idk).

As many of you are aware I've been on an extended hiatus from dating, which I though was making me bitter and resent men. Which was against my whole positive thinking, happy mental health things I'm doing here. So the obvious thing to do would to be start dating again! So BAM, started up my old online dating profiles again and had 2 date's planned for this weekend. Which if you asked my co-worker I was less than thrilled about one of them, but decided I couldn't judge people before I met them.

So Friday night rolls around. I have a coffee date planned. Sweet! Simple and easy. NOT, he never showed, which was fine because I wasn't too excited to meet anyway. But I don't know if any of you have ever been stood-up before, but it's a really crappy feeling. And when you're stood-up by a guy you're not really into, it's an even bigger slap in the face.

I get over it fairly quickly and soon Saturday evening is here and I'm excited for this date. I've been talking to the guy for a while and we seem to have a lot in common. I'll save you the details but he ends up being a huge D-bag.

By Sunday I'm an emotional wreck. I feel like the two weeks I spent cleansing myself of negativity come rushing back into my life like a tsunami and there is nothing I can do to stop it from coming. Not only did I wake up in a bad mood, but I go to check my emails and what's in my inbox, an email from my ex, blaming me for why he is gay! Seriously?! I need to stop being so friendly.

This boy cheated on me, broke up with me via facebook email, moved across the country, emailed me a year later to say he still loved me, but he was gay, and still after all that I supported him and was there to talk to him, and now I'm to blame? For starters you can't blame someone for that. It is what it is, and I'm sorry he's so uncomfortable with his sexuality that he needs to blame others. Secondly, have you not put me through enough dude?! Third, tell your gf how you feel and figure it out! Because you can't live your life hiding who you are and only have one person to talk to.

So it get's better. It was like a freaking ex-athon! I was contacted by three more lovely men in my life today, asking to "hang out"...LEAVE ME ALONE!

Luckily, my best friend is a text away, and after a 3hr bath, texting my bff, and reading my self-help book. I may be in a better state of mind. I did have a minor meltdown when I realized my parents bought Chiobani greek yogurt instead of Fage. But I held it together. But seriously, Chiobani is disgusting!

The day may be looking up, as I now have a third date planned for tonight. Lucky number 3 possibly? I think if this one doesn't go well, I'm going to crawl back under my man-hating rock for a few more years. For now I'm going to cuddle with my puppy and watch a really cute independent film (Take this Waltz) on Netflix.

Wish me luck tonight! And much love to my bff for always being there when I need you, even when you're 1,000 miles away!