So we all survived the end of the world, once again, and we're two weeks into 2013, enjoying life, quickly forgetting we made new year resolutions. Which I honestly don't blame a lot of people for forgetting, every year it's the same stuff, weight loss, financial stability, find love... I honestly hate the whole idea of new year resolutions, if you want change, just change, no matter what time of year it is!
Anyway with that being said I did make a resolution this year, to learn to better understand myself and my needs so that I can make a better life plan and welcome better people into my life. So far I'm on my second self-help book, I've started meditating nightly and I'm back to taking my vitamins (don't ask me how this makes me more mentally stable, but it helps me. Possibly the omega-3's doing some awesome brain work, idk).
As many of you are aware I've been on an extended hiatus from dating, which I though was making me bitter and resent men. Which was against my whole positive thinking, happy mental health things I'm doing here. So the obvious thing to do would to be start dating again! So BAM, started up my old online dating profiles again and had 2 date's planned for this weekend. Which if you asked my co-worker I was less than thrilled about one of them, but decided I couldn't judge people before I met them.
So Friday night rolls around. I have a coffee date planned. Sweet! Simple and easy. NOT, he never showed, which was fine because I wasn't too excited to meet anyway. But I don't know if any of you have ever been stood-up before, but it's a really crappy feeling. And when you're stood-up by a guy you're not really into, it's an even bigger slap in the face.
I get over it fairly quickly and soon Saturday evening is here and I'm excited for this date. I've been talking to the guy for a while and we seem to have a lot in common. I'll save you the details but he ends up being a huge D-bag.
By Sunday I'm an emotional wreck. I feel like the two weeks I spent cleansing myself of negativity come rushing back into my life like a tsunami and there is nothing I can do to stop it from coming. Not only did I wake up in a bad mood, but I go to check my emails and what's in my inbox, an email from my ex, blaming me for why he is gay! Seriously?! I need to stop being so friendly.
This boy cheated on me, broke up with me via facebook email, moved across the country, emailed me a year later to say he still loved me, but he was gay, and still after all that I supported him and was there to talk to him, and now I'm to blame? For starters you can't blame someone for that. It is what it is, and I'm sorry he's so uncomfortable with his sexuality that he needs to blame others. Secondly, have you not put me through enough dude?! Third, tell your gf how you feel and figure it out! Because you can't live your life hiding who you are and only have one person to talk to.
So it get's better. It was like a freaking ex-athon! I was contacted by three more lovely men in my life today, asking to "hang out"...LEAVE ME ALONE!
Luckily, my best friend is a text away, and after a 3hr bath, texting my bff, and reading my self-help book. I may be in a better state of mind. I did have a minor meltdown when I realized my parents bought Chiobani greek yogurt instead of Fage. But I held it together. But seriously, Chiobani is disgusting!
The day may be looking up, as I now have a third date planned for tonight. Lucky number 3 possibly? I think if this one doesn't go well, I'm going to crawl back under my man-hating rock for a few more years. For now I'm going to cuddle with my puppy and watch a really cute independent film (Take this Waltz) on Netflix.
Wish me luck tonight! And much love to my bff for always being there when I need you, even when you're 1,000 miles away!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
I'm Back!
So after a hiatus of about a YEAR from updating this blog I've decided to return once again. I am terrible at keeping up with these things, but after watching a TED talk about setting 30 day goals, I am here, I am typing and 30 days here we GO!
So I should probably update you on my life. As my previous blog posts are quite out dated.
I am no longer volunteering with the MN Reading Corps, sadly I left the corps last December to start my adventure in the real world. I have been working as a Chemist for a food company for almost a year now. It's been great work, with great people and I'm excited to see what opportunities I will have in the future with this company. I currently work in a two person lab at a flour mill. It's pretty awesome, and the male to female ratio is quite favorable if you know what I mean. ;)
As for the diet/exercise extravaganza that I started last fall I am still going strong. I'm down ~90lbs so far, and as stubborn as my body is being I'm still trucking along. I've found that I really enjoy HEAVY weight lifting. And can now dead lift 200lbs! I also enjoy cardio when my joints are on my side, and boxing.
The last big thing for the year is I bought a new car! She/he is beautiful! A 2012 Ford Focus hatchback in frosted glass (light metallic blue). I'm still trying to find a name for it, so if you have any ideas I'm very much open. I did sadly sell my beloved white convertible, Hank. He served me well, and I wanted to part ways on a high note, rather than run him to the ground.
Overall it's been a great year!
Oh and if you read my post about setting weight loss goals with a bucket list, I am super behind! If you want to go on some adventures with me to help catch up please please please email me! Like I said, I am a master procrastinator, even when it comes to doing fun things.
So I should probably update you on my life. As my previous blog posts are quite out dated.
I am no longer volunteering with the MN Reading Corps, sadly I left the corps last December to start my adventure in the real world. I have been working as a Chemist for a food company for almost a year now. It's been great work, with great people and I'm excited to see what opportunities I will have in the future with this company. I currently work in a two person lab at a flour mill. It's pretty awesome, and the male to female ratio is quite favorable if you know what I mean. ;)
As for the diet/exercise extravaganza that I started last fall I am still going strong. I'm down ~90lbs so far, and as stubborn as my body is being I'm still trucking along. I've found that I really enjoy HEAVY weight lifting. And can now dead lift 200lbs! I also enjoy cardio when my joints are on my side, and boxing.
The last big thing for the year is I bought a new car! She/he is beautiful! A 2012 Ford Focus hatchback in frosted glass (light metallic blue). I'm still trying to find a name for it, so if you have any ideas I'm very much open. I did sadly sell my beloved white convertible, Hank. He served me well, and I wanted to part ways on a high note, rather than run him to the ground.
Overall it's been a great year!
Oh and if you read my post about setting weight loss goals with a bucket list, I am super behind! If you want to go on some adventures with me to help catch up please please please email me! Like I said, I am a master procrastinator, even when it comes to doing fun things.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Hangin' With the Right People
As I sat at a table with 4 Ph.D.'s and one graduate student I thought to myself, "Self, you are in a good place right now." As much as I feel like I'm spinning my tires and am going no where with my life I feel that it's all about who you spend your time with, and what you're doing with that time.
Yes, teaching kids how to read is not my ideal job. And making more than a few hundred dollars here and there is not the best situation. But when it all boils down, I'm pretty darn lucky to be sitting at that table.
It was a full circle moment for me. I work with inner city kids 50hrs a week. Kids that just like me grew up on the East Side, attended public school, and have more than just homework thrown at them each day. I was one of the lucky ones though. I went to college, got a degree and have the support of my family to be able to work dead end part time jobs until I go to graduate school. Will my students ever be sitting at a table with 4 Ph.D.'s talking about the importance of the Redfeld Ratio? My hopes for them are yes. The reality probably isn't the same.
I think that is what I'm most frustrated with right now. No matter how hard I work. No matter how good I am at teaching them to read. Is it really enough? Will I be the reason they are able to get into college? Or will all of my time be wasted?
Everyone is always talking about closing the achievement gap, and I totally agree that this needs to happen. But how is it possible to close the gap without the support of parents? I can't be both a teacher and a loving supportive adult role model. I feel like I'm not the only person that feels they are being spread to thin when it comes to educating America's youth.
I guess what I'm trying to say is be thankful for what you have, even if it's not your ideal situation, because a lot of people never even got the opportunity to be where you are standing.
Yes, teaching kids how to read is not my ideal job. And making more than a few hundred dollars here and there is not the best situation. But when it all boils down, I'm pretty darn lucky to be sitting at that table.
It was a full circle moment for me. I work with inner city kids 50hrs a week. Kids that just like me grew up on the East Side, attended public school, and have more than just homework thrown at them each day. I was one of the lucky ones though. I went to college, got a degree and have the support of my family to be able to work dead end part time jobs until I go to graduate school. Will my students ever be sitting at a table with 4 Ph.D.'s talking about the importance of the Redfeld Ratio? My hopes for them are yes. The reality probably isn't the same.
I think that is what I'm most frustrated with right now. No matter how hard I work. No matter how good I am at teaching them to read. Is it really enough? Will I be the reason they are able to get into college? Or will all of my time be wasted?
Everyone is always talking about closing the achievement gap, and I totally agree that this needs to happen. But how is it possible to close the gap without the support of parents? I can't be both a teacher and a loving supportive adult role model. I feel like I'm not the only person that feels they are being spread to thin when it comes to educating America's youth.
I guess what I'm trying to say is be thankful for what you have, even if it's not your ideal situation, because a lot of people never even got the opportunity to be where you are standing.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
The Contents of My Life
So I finally cleaned out my college backpack and it brought back a lot of good memories. My backpack has been with me since that 1st day at St. Kate's. It's multicolored pink mod square patter is slightly less vibrant and there are a few rips here and there but I miss carrying it around with me everyday.
It has been to so many places. It was my field backpack in California, when I fell in love with the Redwoods. It went to Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands, traveling from 15,000ft above sea level to 0ft. It was with me when I walked the Mayan ruins in Cancun. It has been a pillow on many occasions and of course served its time carry multiple heavy biology and chemistry text books. I'm still not sure if I want to retire it, but it does need some repairs and it's pretty stained.
My girls in 007 will be proud that I found the following items when I emptied its contents onto my bedroom floor:
-3 spoons
-1 fork
-1 cheese stick
-2 biology water bottles
-Multiple sharpies
-Chapstick
-Pizza Luce mints
-Venna's Interviews Do's and Dont's
-A lighter
-Velvet tuberose lotion
-Spearmint Obrit gum
-Hospital bracelet
-A pair of safety goggles
-An apple (much past it's time)
This list sounds pretty random I know. But Venna, Brittney and Jiselle will know that it is 100% me. And no I did not eat the cheese stick this time. :)
I miss all my Katies! I hope you are all doing amazing wonderful things.
It has been to so many places. It was my field backpack in California, when I fell in love with the Redwoods. It went to Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands, traveling from 15,000ft above sea level to 0ft. It was with me when I walked the Mayan ruins in Cancun. It has been a pillow on many occasions and of course served its time carry multiple heavy biology and chemistry text books. I'm still not sure if I want to retire it, but it does need some repairs and it's pretty stained.
My girls in 007 will be proud that I found the following items when I emptied its contents onto my bedroom floor:
-3 spoons
-1 fork
-1 cheese stick
-2 biology water bottles
-Multiple sharpies
-Chapstick
-Pizza Luce mints
-Venna's Interviews Do's and Dont's
-A lighter
-Velvet tuberose lotion
-Spearmint Obrit gum
-Hospital bracelet
-A pair of safety goggles
-An apple (much past it's time)
This list sounds pretty random I know. But Venna, Brittney and Jiselle will know that it is 100% me. And no I did not eat the cheese stick this time. :)
I miss all my Katies! I hope you are all doing amazing wonderful things.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
The DIEting has begun
Well I've made some pretty drastic changes in my life in the last few weeks. I joined a gym with my college roommate and have started working with a personal trainer (who is super hot if you don't mind me saying). I've also started a new diet with my mom. The first week was hell, but as I've gotten use to it and learning the ins and outs of all the rules it is pretty easy. So with all of that I'm down 20 lbs! And feeling great, well mostly. Let's just say squats are not a fat girls best friend and my legs are killing me.
You might be wondering what motivated me to do all of this. Well after watching a whole season of "Heavy" I couldn't be that any more. Plus it's been years of excuses, procrastination, and just not leaving time for myself. I'm still working on the last one, but change takes time, right?
If you think you don't have time for a diet or to hit the gym I am proof that that is not true. I'm working roughly 80-85hrs a week at 4 different jobs and still manage not to cheat on my diet and to get to the gym at least 3 times a week. It's hard, but I think once you really want it you just do it. Oh and don't think you can't handle being exposed to all of those temptations. I'm a birthday party host, I have unlimited access to birthday cake, cookies, pizza, ice cream, apple juice. So if I can say no, you can too. I've also successfully gone to the movie theater twice since starting and didn't even have one kernel of popcorn or a junior mint.
So before starting this whole adventure I made a bucket list of things I would do with every 10 lbs lost. The following is my bucket list, if you can help me out with fulfilling any of these things that would be sweet. :)
10lbs- Buy a designer handbag (I bought my 1st Coach purse!)
20lbs- Milk a cow (currently looking for a cow)
30lbs- Learn to Crochet
40lbs- Learn to walk in heels without dying
50lbs- Ride a horse
60lbs- Climb to the top of Split Rock Light House
70lbs- Run a 5k
80lbs- Ride a bike more than driving my car
90lbs- Learn to dance
100lbs- Get a tattoo
110lbs- Learn yoga and not look ridiculous
120lbs- Go to graduate school
130lbs- Make a quilt with all my old clothes
140lbs- See the MN state flower in the wild
150lbs- Go camping in the BWCA
160lbs- See the northern lights
170lbs- Go to Yellow Stone National Park
180lbs- Drive the Pacific Shore Highway 100
190lbs- Learn a new language
200lbs- Go to Greece
Who knows if I'll even lose 200lbs, my current goal is 110lbs. But dream big right? I'm looking forward to the next year and seeing how far I can go. Thanks for all of the support thus far and if you own a cow let me know ;)
You might be wondering what motivated me to do all of this. Well after watching a whole season of "Heavy" I couldn't be that any more. Plus it's been years of excuses, procrastination, and just not leaving time for myself. I'm still working on the last one, but change takes time, right?
If you think you don't have time for a diet or to hit the gym I am proof that that is not true. I'm working roughly 80-85hrs a week at 4 different jobs and still manage not to cheat on my diet and to get to the gym at least 3 times a week. It's hard, but I think once you really want it you just do it. Oh and don't think you can't handle being exposed to all of those temptations. I'm a birthday party host, I have unlimited access to birthday cake, cookies, pizza, ice cream, apple juice. So if I can say no, you can too. I've also successfully gone to the movie theater twice since starting and didn't even have one kernel of popcorn or a junior mint.
So before starting this whole adventure I made a bucket list of things I would do with every 10 lbs lost. The following is my bucket list, if you can help me out with fulfilling any of these things that would be sweet. :)
10lbs- Buy a designer handbag (I bought my 1st Coach purse!)
20lbs- Milk a cow (currently looking for a cow)
30lbs- Learn to Crochet
40lbs- Learn to walk in heels without dying
50lbs- Ride a horse
60lbs- Climb to the top of Split Rock Light House
70lbs- Run a 5k
80lbs- Ride a bike more than driving my car
90lbs- Learn to dance
100lbs- Get a tattoo
110lbs- Learn yoga and not look ridiculous
120lbs- Go to graduate school
130lbs- Make a quilt with all my old clothes
140lbs- See the MN state flower in the wild
150lbs- Go camping in the BWCA
160lbs- See the northern lights
170lbs- Go to Yellow Stone National Park
180lbs- Drive the Pacific Shore Highway 100
190lbs- Learn a new language
200lbs- Go to Greece
Who knows if I'll even lose 200lbs, my current goal is 110lbs. But dream big right? I'm looking forward to the next year and seeing how far I can go. Thanks for all of the support thus far and if you own a cow let me know ;)
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
So it's been a while
Sorry for not updating this thing soon. Life some times gets a hold of you and it takes a while to get back to normal. I've had a lot of big changes in my life this month and I'm finally settling back down and starting to feel normal again.
The biggest change this summer is loosing both of my grandfathers less than two months apart from each other. It's really hard some days to know they are gone. But I'm so thankful that I did get to spend so much time with them and they are no longer suffering.
The next biggest change would be moving back into my parent's house. Woot woot! It's actually gone a lot better than I thought it would have. And I finally have my own room! Yes, it is a 11x9 ft room, but it is all mine! No crazy roommates, no sharing a closet, no cleaning up other people's messes. :) Plus we have a puppy here. The only thing that would make this better is if my parents would let me get my own dog.
Lastly I've started my new job, and I'm loving it thus far! I can only imagine how awesome it's going to be once the kiddos come back to school. As much as I love science I'm looking forward to doing something completely different and working with kids this year. I'm also so excited to start getting involved in my community and giving back a little. I'm going to be tutoring at my local rec center too
Hopefully I'll be able to update this more routinely and keep you all updated!
The biggest change this summer is loosing both of my grandfathers less than two months apart from each other. It's really hard some days to know they are gone. But I'm so thankful that I did get to spend so much time with them and they are no longer suffering.
The next biggest change would be moving back into my parent's house. Woot woot! It's actually gone a lot better than I thought it would have. And I finally have my own room! Yes, it is a 11x9 ft room, but it is all mine! No crazy roommates, no sharing a closet, no cleaning up other people's messes. :) Plus we have a puppy here. The only thing that would make this better is if my parents would let me get my own dog.
Lastly I've started my new job, and I'm loving it thus far! I can only imagine how awesome it's going to be once the kiddos come back to school. As much as I love science I'm looking forward to doing something completely different and working with kids this year. I'm also so excited to start getting involved in my community and giving back a little. I'm going to be tutoring at my local rec center too
Hopefully I'll be able to update this more routinely and keep you all updated!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Lazy Summer Days
Is it sad that I took a shower only to get right back into my pajamas? I don't think so! I only have a few days of summer freedom before Reading Corps takes off and I'm busy busy busy again. I decided to have a movie marathon today and will be starting movie #5 shortly. I seriously need to think about canceling my Netflix account so I can start interacting with normal society again. Weird documentaries about absolutely nothing are one the top of my list of secret addictions. The other night I was up until 2am watching one about a women and her saga of random surgeries...it had absolutely no point other than for her to vent about being sick all the time aka an artistic statement.
So I've started to pack to move home (my last week at St. Kates!!) and have actually taken most of my clothes home...woah! I'm also trying very hard to throw things away. I don't know why I insist on holding on to things. Especially clothes that are either too big, too small or totally worn out. Point made when I sat down on the couch and totally ripped the crotch out of my pjs. Faith is concerned that I'm covering myself with her blankie at the moment. Becks thinks I should go to Chipotle like this. But I think it is time to retire this pair of pjs...it's only been 10 years!
To new beginnings and fewer things!
-Hannah
So I've started to pack to move home (my last week at St. Kates!!) and have actually taken most of my clothes home...woah! I'm also trying very hard to throw things away. I don't know why I insist on holding on to things. Especially clothes that are either too big, too small or totally worn out. Point made when I sat down on the couch and totally ripped the crotch out of my pjs. Faith is concerned that I'm covering myself with her blankie at the moment. Becks thinks I should go to Chipotle like this. But I think it is time to retire this pair of pjs...it's only been 10 years!
To new beginnings and fewer things!
-Hannah
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